Put down and doubted
Needing approval
From those who matter the most
Those with no hope, no trust in her
Little do they know
She's deeply in love with
Something she wants
Something she needs
Driven by pure passion
She cannot be stopped
She won't be stopped!
Her dreams are blocked
As negative thoughts from others
Dance throughout her young mind
Challenge after challenge
From victories and failures
She earns more and more
Maturity and Knowledge
Strength and Intelligence
With each experience
Her soul grows
Matures and Emerges
From a once dark place
Learning the ultimate lesson,
The lesson of Life.
3 comments:
DESTRIE!!!
I love it i can so relate girlfriend.lol
But on the other hand im a little bit confused about what your allusion is to. But im sure if i knew i would be be like "oooooohhh..i get it." Because its real general.But its really good, i could feel the emotion.
:)
DESTREEEEZY,
You compared yourself with your myth very well. I'm not sure who your myth person is, but I'm pretty sure it's someone who has big dreams for herself and even though she has many obstacles in her way, she's never going to give up on that dream. Your poem was so clear, yet so simple. I understood it from the first line. Your selected good word choices & it fit well with your poem. An improvement would be the transitions. You went from negative thoughts to challenges. You might want to switch those 2 stanza'z? But anywhos, good job on this poem (:
<3 Michelle
Hi Destrie,
From your graphic and the butterflies, I am thinking your allusion is to Psyche, goddess of the soul. I think it would help, however, if you include some specifics about her myth. Likewise, include some of your specific knowledge and challenge, etc, that you mention. You don't have to explain everything, but you do need to be a bit more specific.
I think, too, that your teammates should have noted and suggested this. For the allusion to work, the reader must know what the allusion is, and both Amber and Michelle said the poem worked but they didn't know the allusion...sorry guys...that does not qualify as good critique.
Last...be sure to put you into the graphic...
mrs s
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