In our society today, it's not rare to have issues in many teenage relationships. These issues can vary, from small issues such as someone forgetting a 4 month anniversary, or huge issues like, abuse. Unfortunately, verbal,emotional, and physical abuse occurs in many relationships. Although abuse is wrong, because of the pressure from their partners, victims believe the abuse in their relationship is their fault, so they don't recognize the cycle of abuse and don't remove themselves from the relationship.
In teen relationships, it is not unlikely that abuse is present. The abuser has different methods of abusing their partner. Abusers have a cycle of abuse that they follow. The cycle starts with the "honeymoon" phase. The couple seems to be "in love" and their relationship is perfect! The next phase is the "tension-building" phase. This phase is when the couple starts getting into small arguments over minor things, causing the abuser to become very frustrated. As time goes on, the abuser begin to blame everything on the victim causing more and more tension between the couple. The last, and most
harmful stage is the "raging stage." This stage is when the abuser explodes on the victim, hurting the victim sexually,physically, emotionally, or verbally. After the abuse happens, the abuser goes back to the "honeymoon" phase, claiming they will change, and didn't mean what they did. They will use pressure and guilt to keep the victim from leaving the relationship, and their persuasion eventually works, and the victim stays in the relationship. From there, the cycle repeats
itself in the relationship, until someone finally ends the relationship.
It is true that this cycle is reasonably easy to recognize and has many red flags, for a victim to recognize, giving themselves time to get out of the relationship. But the fact is, because of the pressure from their partner, victims don't see the cycle. When the victim is pressured, they cannot get themselves out of the relationship. The abuser in the relationship uses guilt and threats to keep the victim in the relationship. Although some would say that regardless of pressure, the victim should remove themselves from the relationship immediately. But doing so is not as simple, as it may seem. Unless the victim knows the cycle of abuse, and knows how to resist the abusers guilt, then the cycle and abuse will continue, and abuse in teen relationships will remain to frequently occur.
Because of the pressure from their partners, victims believe the abuse in their relationship is their fault, so they don't remove themselves from the relationship.
Con: If the victim feels they are being abused they should remove themselves from the relationship, and not care about the pressure from their partner.
Pro 1: Victims cannot always remove themselves from the relationship, because the pressure from their partner is too strong. They use things like threatening and guilt to keep the victim in the relationship.
Pro 2: Because of the pressure from their partner, the victim cannot recognize the cycle of abuse their partner has. When the abuser has the cycle of abuse, the victim is somewhat brainwashed(pressured) into believing they are not being abused, and doesn't see the cycle of abuse.
“… includes a description of your conversion experience, an assessment of your current spiritual growth, and an account of your call to ministry.”
Sunday, May 30, 2009, the date still lingers in my mind, like a pop song that often gets stuck in my wondering mind. But not at all an annoying, wannabe pop song, it's kinda like a Michael Jackson song, something that you can put on repeat, and never get sick of! May 30 was perfect, blue skies, clear of gray clouds, the sun shinny as bright as ever. A perfect day for Him to change lives.
We sprinted across the hectic road, melting Jamba Juice yogurt oozing onto our hands, finally making it to an unfamiliar beach, KailuaBeachPark. I had just come from 7 crazy hours of volunteering at church, and surprisingly still had a huge amount of energy. I suppose it was the pure excitement that had me feeling like I had just drunk countless cans of soda. You see today was the day I had been anxiously waiting for, for awhile now. It was my water baptism, the day I officially become a Christian. When I first visited New Hope Windward, there was dancing, upbeat music, flashy lights, and attractive videos. After being there for about 5 minutes, I automatically thought, "There is no way this is a church!" When I was a newborn child, I was baptized as a Catholic, and I was accustom to being quiet during church, and singing songs off provided sheets of song lyrics. You see, most everyone that knows me, would describe me with one simple, 5-letter word, "CRAZY!" Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely mature, just like most high school students, but I love to have fun, and entertain others, so at the end of the day, everyone has a smile on their face. I've personally found that when I'm having fun, I tend to learn things easier, faster, and better. Growing up in a Catholic church wasn't exciting enough for me, and I personally didn't learn much. When I say this, I don't mean to offend anyone, everyone have different ways of finding Christ, and that just wasn't mine!
I was about 13 years old, when I first attended New Hope. Part of the reason my mom would take me and my siblings to church, was for a small meal after service. Now again, anyone that knows me knows that I absolutely love food! My mom often tells me that I should be a food critic when I finish school. Free food all day, everyday, sounds great, but I don't believe that's my calling in life, and I'm secretly always looking for the true purpose God has put me on Earth. So the true reason I started attending church, was for the food, but to get to the food part, I had to go to the church part. Eventually, I actually started listening, learning, and started understanding things about God. The services were so upbeat, crazy and funny, and of course entertaining. Our pastors, Pastor Dave, often reminds me of myself, crazy, energetic, funny, yet mature, loving and lovable, caring and wants to share his knowledge of God with everyone, kinda like me! Even though I was excited about my new understanding, I never really shared my religion, with my friends. I was too shamed, and scared that my friends would tease, or reject me for how I felt bout God. That was different in July 2008, when I finally got involved in church!
For about a month, the church had been asking for people to help on the Multi-Media team, I gave little thought about joining, but thought I wouldn't fit in, but I ended up volunteering anyway. My first day of volunteering had arrived; I woke up at 4 o'clock A.M., forced myself out of bed, and reluctantly, made my way to the movie theaters in Kaneohe, where the church was located. When I got there at 4:30 in the morning, I was surprised with the people; they were loving, and so energetic. I was puzzled, how could people be so happy to be at church at 4 in the morning? The whole day, complete strangers, as they call, "loved on me," and welcomed me with open arms. They expressed that it was the love, and spirit of God, that kept them coming every Sunday, and kept them so happy every morning. After months of volunteering, I soon experienced what all those people were feeling, and my relationship with God got stronger and stronger. I finally felt the strong urge to convert to Christianity, and begged my mom over and over, to let me get baptized, and when May 2009 came around, she finally granted my wish.
The experience was so spectacular. Getting baptized was one of the biggest and best decisions in my life. Words couldn't even explain the experience, it was refreshing, and I felt like a new person. When I came out of the water, I didn't feel ashamed of my religion, but proud. Maybe it was just my naive mind, but at that exact moment, I felt God was calling me to get into ministry, and that my calling in life, was to serve Him for the rest of my life.
Since my baptism, I have gotten even closer to God, and have continued to volunteer every weekend. I have learned to speak openly about God, and use Him and my religion in everyday life. I can now easily express my love for Him, without shame, or being scared of what others think of me, and truly love speaking about Him. I'm currently interested in sharing my love for God with other, which explains my interest in studying the bible and having have the honor of helping God lead people to Christianity, I guess you could say it's my passion and dream.
My friend once told me, "Destrie you have a lot of knowledge, and one day you'll share that knowledge with the world!" I believe that sharing my knowledge of God, is my true calling; to bring people to Christ, and change their lives, forever.
My novel is a "coming of age" story, because I takes the stories of teenage girls, that are growing up and "coming of age" and are telling about their experinces and trails. In the reading it tells about girls going through, abuse, diseases, intoxication, family issues, friend issues, sexual issues, and overcoming obstacles. In the book, theres a story called "A Sister's Tragedy" and the sister describes watching her older sister going through a disease and how she has to grow up and take care of her little brother. For this girl, she had to be responsible and take care of herself, and her sibling, so she could be strong for her parents and older sister, displaying her "coming of age."
Since we've been talking about colleges, I've had my mind set on UNLV. I'm not sure if it's just my excited to leave the island and be on my own, but I have a really strong urge to attend school there. But because of my passion for church, I've recently thought also about attending Pacific Rim Bible College, here in the islands.
